103 Seriously Funny Halloween Jokes That Will Crack Everyone Up

by Carole John

Halloween Jokes

Halloween Jokes for Kids

Funny Halloween Jokes

  1. How can you tell when a vampire has been in a bakery? All the jelly has been sucked out of the jelly doughnuts.
  2. Who was the best dancer at the Halloween ball? The boogie man.
  3. What do ghosts wear when their eyesight gets blurred? Spooktacles
  4.  What’s the scariest type of cutlery? A spoooooon!
  5. How do vampires get around on Halloween? On blood vessels.
  6. What can you catch from a vampire in winter? Frostbite.
  7. What do you get when you drop a pumpkin? Squash.
  8. What’s a zombie’s favorite snack? Brain food.
  9. What would be the national holiday for a nation of vampires? Fangs-giving!
  10. What does a panda ghost eat? Bam-BOO!
  11. Why do ghosts pick their noses? To get the boo-gers!
  12. What do skeletons order at a restaurant? Spare ribs.
  13. Why did the Headless Horseman get a job? He was trying to get ahead in life. 
  14. How do you turn the lights out on Halloween night? By flipping the lights-witch.
  15. How do spiders communicate? Through the world wide web
  16.  The skeleton couldn’t help being afraid of the storm. He didn’t have any guts.
  17. Why are spiders, great baseball players? They know how to catch flies!
  18. Why do ghosts pick their noses? To get the boo-gers!
  19. Why did the vampire brush his teeth?
    He had bat breath!
  20. Why is Fortnite so popular on Halloween?
    Because all of the hills are haunted!
  21. What do mummies listen to on Halloween? Wrap music.
  22. What is a zombie’s favorite kind of bean? A human bean.
  23. How do ghosts wash their hair? With sham-boo!
  24. What do you call a skeleton who lays around all day? Lazy bones.
  25. How do spiders communicate? Through the world wide web.
  26. Why didn’t the zombie go to school? He felt rotten.
  27.  Which Shakespeare play do ghosts like best?
    Romeo and Ghoul-iet!
  28. What’s a bird’s favourite Halloween game?
    Ducking for apples!
  29. How do you mend a jack-o’-lantern? With a pumpkin patch.
  30. Who did Dracula take to the school dance? His ghoul friend.
  31. What do birds say on Halloween? Trick or tweet!
  32. What’s a witch’s favorite school subject? Spelling.
  33. How do you know when a ghost is sad? He starts boo-hooing.
  34. What’s a vampire’s favorite holiday? Fangs-giving
  35. Why are spiders great baseball players? They know how to catch flies!
  36. Why didn’t the zombie go to school? He felt rotten.
  37. How did the werewolf greet his friend? “Howl you doing?”
  38. Who was the best dancer at the Halloween ball? The boogie man.
  39. Why don’t zombies eat popcorn with their hands? They eat their hands separately.
halloween dad jokes

Funny Halloween Jokes For Adults

Hilarious Halloween Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock-Knock Jokes

  1. Knock, Knock! Who’s there? Frank! Frank who? Frankenstein.
  2. Knock, Knock. Who’s there? Ben! Ben, who? Ben has been waiting for Halloween all year!
  3. Knock Knock! Who’s there? Hans! Hans who? Hans, off my candy!
    Knock, Knock. Who’s there? Ivana! Ivana Who? Ivana, suck your blood!
  4. Knock, Knock! Who’s there? Ghost says! Ghost says who? No, ghost says boo!
  5. Knock, Knock! Who’s there? Woo! Woo who? Yeah, I’m excited for Halloween too!
  6. Knock, Knock. Who is out there? Diane. Diane who? I’m Diane to eat my Halloween treats and candy!

  7. Knock, Knock. Who is outside? Abbott. Abbott who? Abbott time someone said that.

  8. Knock Knock!! “Trick or Treat!”
    Who’s there? Thermos! Thermos who? Thermos be a better way!

  9. Knock Knock! Whos there? Boo.
    Boo who? Don’t cry! I’m just a Halloween trick-or-treater!
  10. Knock, Knock! Who’s there? Essen! Essen who? Essen, it’s fun to listen to Halloween jokes.
  11. Knock, Knock! Who’s there? Fozzie! Fozzie who? Fozzie’s hundredth time, trick or treat!
  12. Knock, Knock! Who’s there? Iran! Iran who? Iran over here to get some Halloween candy.
  13. Knock, Knock. Who knocks? Butter. Butter who? Butter unlock this door; I have Halloween jokes to share!

  14.  Knock, Knock. Who is out there? Voodoo. Voodoo who? Voodoo, you think I am?

  15. Knock Knock!! Who’s there? Tad. Tad who? Tad old black magic!

  16. Knock Knock!! Who’s there? Dishes! Dishes who? Dishes a very Halloween bad joke!

  17. Knock, Knock! Who’s there? Justin! Justin who? Justin time for Halloween.
  18. Knock, Knock!! Who’s there?
    Howl! Howl who? Howl you be dressing up this Halloween?

  19. Knock Knock!! Who’s there?
    Ben! Ben who? Ben knocking on this door all night!

  20. “Knock, knock.” “Who’s there?” “Howl.” “Howl who?” “Howl you know who’s here if you don’t open the door!”
  21. “Knock, knock.” “Who’s there?” “Ben.” “Ben who?” “Ben waiting for candy all day!”
  22. Knock Knock. Who’s there? Jacklyn. Jacklyn who? Jacklyn Hyde.
  23. Knock Knock. Who’s there? Eddie! Eddie who? Eddie body home? It’s Halloween.
  24. “Knock, knock.” “Who’s there?” “Orange.” “Orange who?” “Orange you glad it’s finally Halloween?”
  25. Knock Knock. Who’s there? Iguana. Iguana who? Iguana, eat all your candy.
  26. “Knock, knock.” “Who’s there?” “Olive.” “Olive who?” “Olive Halloween!”
  27. “Knock, Knock.” “Who’s there?” “Phillip!” “Phillip who?” “Phillip my bag with candy!”
  28. Knock, Knock. Who is out there? Bee! Bee who? Beware of the full moon on Hallow’s Eve!

  29. Knock, Knock. Who is out there? Howie. Howie who? Howie supposed to hide the body of this dead zombie?

  30. Knock, knock! Who is out there? Aida. Aida who? Aida’s big bag full of Halloween candy.

  31. Knock, Knock!! Who’s there? Twick.
    Twick who? Twick or Tweet!

  32. Knock, Knock!! Who’s there? Wanda. Wanda who? Wanda go for a ride on my broomstick.

  33. Knock, Knock!! Who’s there? Disguise! Disguise who? This guy is your boyfriend!
  34. Knock Knock! Who’s there? Fangs! Fangs who? Fangs for letting me in!
  35. Knock Knock! Who’s there? Hans! Hans who? Hans, off my candy!
Halloween Jokes

Halloween Dad Jokes

  1. What’s a skeleton’s favorite song? “Bad to the Bone.”
  2. Why don’t werewolves ever know the time? Because they’re not whenwolves.
  3. The maker of this product does not want it, the buyer does not use it, and the user does not see it. What is it? A coffin.
  4. What do you call a moon out of orbit? A lunatic.
  5. Why are all mummies, workaholics? They’re afraid to unwind.
  6. When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat? When you’re a mouse.

  7. What is a recess at a mortuary called? A Coffin Break!

  8. What do little ghouls and boys study in algebra? Pumpkin pie.
  9. What do you call a haunted chicken? A poultry-geist.
  10. What kind of monster loves to disco? The boogieman.

  11.  Why didn’t the scarecrow eat dinner? He was already stuffed.

  12. What do dentists hand out at Halloween? Candy. It’s good for business.
  13. I would make a skeleton joke, but you wouldn’t find it very humerus.
  14. What’s a vampire’s favorite fruit? Neck-taurine.
  15. What did the happy pumpkin say? “Life is gourd.”
  16. What types of TVs are in haunted houses? Wide scream TVs.
  17. What do you call an undead cricket referee? A vampire!

  18. What did the daddy ghost say to the baby ghost?
    Fasten your sheet belt!

  19. Why are graveyards so noisy? Because of all the coffins.
  20. What’s a teenage ghost’s favorite song? “Ghouls Just Wanna Have Fun.”
  21. Why was the jack-o-lantern afraid to cross the road? He had no guts.
  22. What do you call a fat pumpkin? A plumpkin.
  23. What do Italian ghosts have for dinner? Boo-ghetti!
  24. Why can’t ghosts lie? Because you can see right through them.
  25. Are any Halloween monsters good at math? No—unless you Count Dracula!

  26.  Why didn’t the zombie go to school? He felt rotten!

  27. Why is a cemetery a great place to write a story? Because there are so many plots there!
  28. What does a skeleton say before eating? Bone Appetit!
  29. Which monster loves to dance? The Boogieman!

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